Even though we are moved to SL and settling in with most of our unpacking done, I am beginning to feel very homesick for Kirksville. I miss everything about that great little town so much but most especially the people and the closeness and fun of SAA.
The last few days have been really busy with stuff at the hospital. Last night we had a black tie optional dinner and graduation ceremony to go to. This was my first introduction to the spouses of the other resident wifes as well as the big wig doctors that Tommy would be working with. Let me tell you, it was very intimidating to walk into that room, everyone dressed to the nines, with out knowing a single other person beside my hubby. Everyone was friendly and introduced themselves to me and we talked for a bit. Then off to eat dinner and more talking. After the ceremony a bunch of the residents invited us to a bar with them and we went and had fun.
Today, one the of the Ortho doctors had a huge back yard party for all the Ortho program people. This included his office staff, all the interns and residents, their families and many more people. It was tons of fun- swimming pool, 2 blow up bounce houses, soccer, washers, a huge swing set, lacrosse, ping pong and yummy food and lots of drinks. We were there from 1:30 to about 7:30 and had lots of fun.
Yes so it had been lots of fun but the problem I am having but I feel like an outsider. No one made me feel that way in particular but the other wifes, there are only a handful, know each other so well since they do so much together. They were very nice to include me- it was not that they were mean or ignored me but I am just struggling with finding that way to fit in. I am the only new wife this year and so I am the new kid on the block and I hate being the new kid.
So today I was sitting by myself watching Tommy play soccer and Nora bounce in the bounce house and I was overwhelmed with tears, which I quickly got under control then but can't seem to stop now. I am missing Kirksville and SAA. I know that sounds crazy seeing as we are in such a great city and all but I miss the quietness and the peace. I miss my little house lots (love the new one but really miss the old one). I miss HyVee and yes, even the super Wal-Mart because we don't have a super one here and I can't by most of the food that my picky little daughter will eat. I miss going out some place and seeing so many people I know. I miss not having to drive on major roads to get milk. I miss our fun little group of SAA and the wonderful ladies who took the time out of their day to visit or chat at the park or the wading pool. I miss Nora having so much fun with her many, many friends and I miss my many, many friends smiles, laughs and the great comfort they brought to my life.
When we started med school everyone was in the same boat- none of us knew each other or anything about each other or med school. Here- I am the new one and everyone one else knows each other and it is hard to jump in head first. I don't know if many of you know this about me but I am a pretty shy person. When I am first in a new situation, I am very stand offish and take it all in before I jump in and open myself up. I keep saying to myself that they will like me and I just need to relax but I can't seem to do that. I don't know if all my friends are feeling that way or not- maybe it is just me. The weird thing about it all is that no one had been mean to me in any way but I just feel so lonely. I know it will get better but I wanted to give a shout of love to all my friends in Kirksville and in SAA. I miss all you fabulous people so much!!!
10 comments:
Oh Jodie, I'm sending you some love right now!! I know how hard it is to have to adjust since we just did this recently ourselves and have had multiple moves (Kirksville was definitely the easieast by far!). Being in a new place where you do not know a soul is so hard. Before you know it though, you will have another great group of friends. How can anyone not love you?!?! In the meantime, do know that you are missed and loved and definitely not alone! Many of us are just a phone call away! :)
I am sorry!! I am in the same boat you are too. Maybe we should just move in together? I agree with Tif, how can anyone not LOVE you? You have so much talent to offer and who is more sweet than Nora? I hope things get better for you. I am phone call away too and even better, just a small drive!!
Hi Jodie! You know Laura and I were just talking about how weird and hard it is going to be when we leave Kirksville one day... You will be busy with lots of stamping, playgroups, and bunco nights before you know it. :) Miss ya.
Hey Jodie - you've probably seen this on my blog, I read it when I need a little extra moving courage. I found it in a magazine once, but forgot to write down who it was from - "People, like plants, put down deep roots, making it difficult to move. A part of them is always left behind. Yet, after a period of adjustment, they often flourish beyond where they might have had they stayed put."
Anyway, keep your chin up. Soon you'll be as popular in St. Louis as you are here!
Awww Jodie...
We miss you too! It sounds like there are so many neat activities going on. I'm sure you will fit right in and make tons of friends before you know it.
Jodie I totally understand. David is the only male resident this year, and while all of the women he works with are great, it is not the same. In addition, most of the residents in years ahead of us are not married or are also women. I have only met one other resident wife, and it was just uncomfortable and wierd with her. Good luck with the transition. They will love you once they get to know you, and I think it is a good sign that they do so many things togther.
I totally understand what you mean. I have a hard time with change for all the same reasons. Sometimes it does take a big cry to get it all out. Hang in there, time does have a way of taking care of all those feelings. I miss super walmart too. And I loved how in KV you would see your friends everywhere. KV does create a lot of expectations; I am so glad we were blessed to experience it for 2 short years. Hope things get better, I am sure they will:)
Aw, Jodie! I am so sorry you feel a little sad, change is always so hard. You are loved wherever you go and I am sure you will be loved there too. Hang in there!
Hey you! You are so incredibly special that I know you will have no trouble making friends. Moving here I realized that your friends don't always have to be your husband's friends. You might not make friends with the ortho wives because nothing will ever be like the spouses in K'ville. But you can make lots of friends with other mom's. Get Nora into soccer, preschool, dance...and you will find other mom's and people who will feel so wonderfully blessed to know you and be your friend!!
Jodie, I wish I had some magic words to say to help you feel better - but I don't - just know that it gets MUCH better! I felt the same way about Kirksville when we moved from here, and I felt the same way you do about fitting in when we moved back - you'll find your way - might take awile, but it'll come. I think about you often.
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